Captioning Archives 

    December 1st, 2003
    

    
    

    Snape: What the hell do they have a camera for?"

    Hermione: "Oh,   that's just the paparazzi trying to figure out what everybody else already   knows!"

    Ron: "Yeah! Haven't you realized it yet?!"

    Harry: "It's R/Hr,   morons!"

    Snape: "It is?! Damn! I'll have to stay away from Flitwick; there's   no way I'm giving away my hard-earned Galleons because of some ridiculous   bet!"

    --Daniel
    

    Hermoine: "It can't be..."

    Ron: "It shouldn't be..."

    Harry: "Oh   GOD NO!!"

    Snape: "OH NO!!! RUN CHILDREN!! THE EVIL H/H-ers are coming! WARN   EVERYONE!! RUN!"

    Ron, Hermone, Harry: *runs away screaming* "THE H/H-ERS ARE   COMING! THE H/H-ERS ARE COMING!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"

    --Kiki
    

    Snape: "Oh NO... it's your worst nightmare. Everybody STAND   back!"

    Ron: "What? Did Lupin forget to take his potion again?!"

    Snape:   "No, worse than that."

    Hermione: "What? Are teachers are going to fail me in   all my classes?!"

    Snape: "Nope. Way worse than that!"

    Harry: "What?   Voldemort is planning to come and torture me to death right now?!"

    Snape:   "Nah, A LOT worse than that."

    Harry, Ron, and Hermione: "WHAT can be worse   than VOLDEMORT?!"

    Snape: *points* "The H/H shippers have gone on a rampage   again! They are destroying all R/H evidence!"

    Hermione: "NO, Ron I love you!   That's all the evidence we should need to prove our point!"

    Ron: "Hermione, I   love you too!" *snogs her*

    Harry: "Ahh, well I'm going to leave now and go   snog Ginny."

    Ron: "SNOG WHO?!"

    Harry: "Er...er...um, bye!" *makes a quick   exit*

    *Snape looks disgustedly at Ron and Hermione and walks   away*

    --Cheese Diva
    

    Ron: "Don't worry 'Mione! I'll protect you!"

    Hermione: "But   Ron...it's horrible! H/H shippers!"

    Harry: "O.K, ewwww." *Hermione narrows   her eyes at him* "Uhhh..no offence meant, Hermione!"

    Snape: "No need to fear!   I'll save you from the mad H/H shippers!"

    --Susie
    

    Snape: "Kids, get away!" Harry: "Oh no! Is that...hey, Ron! Get your   hands off her butt!"

    Hermione: "Ron, he got us...you can stop now..."

    Ron:   "Nonsense, nonsense..."

    --Crucia
    

    Hermione: "It's so horrible!"

    Harry: "I can't stand to   look!"

    Snape: "Stay behind me, children. Maybe I can ward it off with a   vanishing spell!"

    Ron: "Huh? What is it??"

    Hermione: *shrieks* "IT'S A   H/Hr FAN SITE!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!"

    --Gigaku
    

    Snape: "Step back children! I'l protect you from the   darkside!"

    Harry: "Voldemort?"

    Snape: "No, you dimwit! From the H/H   shippers!"

    Trio: "Aaah!!"

    --Leena
    

    Snape: "HMS Underage Seduction... SS/HG... what the -?"

    Ron:   "Hermione? You and the Professor? Bloody hell!"

    Hermione: "Ron, don't believe   them! Whatever story is posted on Fanfiction.net, it's not true!"

    Harry:   "It's... it's Voldemort! He's the one behind all that crap shipping! Lemme at   him! ARG!!"

    Snape: "Back off, Potter! It's too dangerous!" (thinking to   himself) "Hmmm... am I really that sexy?"

    --Celestine
    

    Snape: "Stand back you three! I don't usually do this but when it   involves rampaging Harry/Hermione shippers...."

    Harry: "Ooh! Ooh! Let me at   'em! Can I curse them? Please, please!"

    Hermione: "Ron, I'm scared, they're   gonna kill you to get me and Harry together!"

    Ron: "Don't worry, they can't   tear us apart!"

    --Gillian
    

    Hermione: "AHH THERE PARING ME UP WITH YOU AGAIN!!"

    Harry:   "AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR IT!!"

    --Jackie
    

    Snape: "M...M...Minerva..."

    Hermione: "...That is so   wrong."

    Harry: "Augh! My eyes!"

    Ron: "So that's what she's like under   those baggy robes! Woh! I mean... Eurgh! Um... Mione? What do you look like   under your robes?" *wink wink*

    --Amy
    

    Snape: "Stand back!"

    Trio: "...You're trying to protect us? We   thought you were a git."

    Snape: "I am. But He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named alone   would ever be so evil as to allow these filthy beasts to get their hands on   you."

    Harry/Hermione Shippers: "Hey! We resemble that remark!"

    --Tristan
    

    Ron: "Hey Hermione, is that a wand in your pocket or are   you..."

    Hermione: (clamps her hand over Ron's mouth) "Ron save it   okay?"

    Harry: (beginning to wobble, holding his head as he groans) "It's   cold, the room is spinning, someone get me some chocolate!"

    Ron: (laughing)   "HaHa, Harry you act like there is a dementor around here or   something!"

    Hermione: (pointing at the dementor) "Um... Ron ... what exactly   do you call that?!"

    (Harry is still spinning in slow circles and still   groaning)

    Ron: "Ah, a dementor! Hold me, Hermione!" (latches on to   Hermione)

    Snape: "Children! Stand out of the way whilst I show you who really   should be teaching DADA!" (goes for his wand but can't find it) "Er.... nice   dementor..."

    Ron: "Ahhhhh dark feelings!!! AHHH!! Snape's hand is way too   close to Hermione's butt! WAIT!!!! That's not a dark feeling!" (punches   Snape)

    (Harry finds a piece of chocolate in Snape's robes and they all run   away while the dementor kisses Snape)

    --ILuvRonniekins
    

    *H/H and R/H Shippers fighting*

    Ron: "Whoa!"

    Harry:   "Oohhhhh!!"

    Snape: "Stand back, this could get ugly."

    Hermione: *sighs*   "Can't they see that I like Ron, not Harry ? I mean it's more obvious in Book   Five, right?"

    Harry, Ron, Snape: "We agree!"

    Ron and Hermione: "Yes! R/H   shippers won!"

    --MO0xmoo
    

    Snape: "No kids! Don't look... It cannot be!"

    Harry: "This is so   ridiculous!"

    Hermione: "They are such dunderheads..."

    Ron:: "Harry...this   is fiction...right?"

    Snape: "I said don't look! This is too dangerous to   human sight. Oh God...I'm gonna be sick..."

    Ron: "How can someone write such   things...what are these called again?"

    Harry: "You-know-what...Oh! I cannot   even say it!"

    Hermione: "Ron...this is called...the Harry/Hermione   Ship..."

    --Leonie
    

    Hermione: "Eeeek, here come's a dementor! Ron, save me!!"

    Ron: "I   will always be there to save you, my love!"

    Harry: *dreamy look on his face*   "Can you feel the love in the room?"

    Snape: "Stay back, children!" *feels   Hermione's bra strap*

    Ron: "You better stay off my woman!!!"

    --Julie
    

    Snape: "Back off, you three! Back off! Black is very dangerous!"   *shields the three kids*

    *Harry, Ron, Hermione stay behind Snape's   back*

    Snape: "Potter! Move!" *looks around at the three kids*

    Harry:   "WHAT? Are you going to use me as your shield against Black or something?!"   *grits his teeth*

    Ron, Hermione: "ARE YOU NUTS?!"

    Hermione: "You're a   teacher! You're supposed to protect your students!"

    Ron: "Yeah! And then die   in the attempt!" *nods*

    Harry: "Right-o!" *fuming*

    Snape: *groans* "Die   for you! You don't understand what I meant. Potter is in the wrong place! It's   not about death, you imbeciles!"

    Harry: "Me?? Wrong place?"

    Ron: "What   d'you mean?" *rises his eyebrows*

    Snape: "Okay. I'll make it quick. Potter,   exchange places with Weasley! NOW! And you, Weasley!" *stares at Ron*

    Snape:   "You hold Granger tight from now on!" *points at Ron*

    Ron & Hermione:   *blush* "Professor, we're..."

    Harry: "...in love." *nods in satisfaction and   exchanges places with Ron*

    *Harry smiles at Snape for the first time in his   life*

    Harry: "Professor, you're 'the matchmaker'!"

    Snape: "What did you   think my nickname in Hogwarts was?" *smiles smugly*

    --Annette
    

    January 16th, 2004
    

    
    

    DRACO: "You're not just a mud blood, you're ugly AND you're stupid,   just like your mum."

    RON: "Why you-!" [pulls out his wand] "Take it back!   Take it back!"

    DRACO: "You fancy her mum?"

    RON: "What? You're   sick!"

    DRACO: "Oh really?"

    RON: "And you attack other people's integrity   to compensate for your lack of equipment, just like your dad!"

    DRACO: "How   dare you!"

    HERMIONE: "Haven't you ever heard of one sick turn deserves   another?"

    RON: "No, I don't think he has."

    HERMIONE: "That's what's known   as a double standard."

    RON: "Or hypocrisy."

    --Bill
    

    Malfoy: "Ha ha, what are you going to do, Weasley? Hermione's a   mudblood! Hermione's a mudblood!"

    Hermione: *Looks at Ron* "Just ignore him,   Ron."

    Ron: *Gets wand out* "You're gonna pay for insulting my   'Mione!"

    Hermione: "Your 'Mione? So you do like me!"

    Ron: "Everyone   knows." *hexes Malfoy*

    Hermione: "Guess so..." *Grabs Ron's hand and they   walk away, leaving everyone speechless*

    --Julie
    

    Hermione: *thinking* "God, how hot does Ron look? And I have to wait   until at least the fourth book until I can at least drop hints that I like him!   Oh, that means that the only thing I can do is look really disapproving. Well,   maybe that'll work." *Ron proceeds to get blasted backwards* "Or   not...."

    --Susie
    

    Ron: "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! IT'S RON/HERMIONE, NOT HARRY/HERMIONE!"

    Hermione: *shudders* "Ron! Don't   curse!"

    --Gillian
    

    Ron: "You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!"

    Draco: (glares) "What's   with you, Weasley? You in love with Granger?"

    Ron: (blushes)   "Uh..."

    Hermione: "Isn't it obvious? You can't be THAT dim-witted, can you,   Malfoy!?"

    Draco: "I was certain it was Potter!"

    Gryffindors: "WHAT!??!?!?"   (fall over laughing their heads off)

    Harry: (gasping)   "Me---and....HERMIONE!??!" (laughs uncontrollably)

    Hermione: (giggling madly)   "You may be pureblood but you're not even a HALF-WIT!"

    Ron: "YOU LITTLE-"   (various profanities) "EAT TROUT!" (hexes him)

    (Malfoy falls over belching up   trout and soup bubbles fly out of his mouth)

    Harry: "HAH! Take THAT, H/Hr   shipper!"

    Flint: (mumbles) "Strange, I always thought it was   H/Hr..."

    Crabbe: "Me too..."

    Goyle: "Ditto..."

    Ron: "WHAT WAS   THAT!?"

    Flint: "Um..."

    Crabbe: "Uh, well..."

    Harry: "H/HR SHIPPERS! GET   THEM!" (leads the Gryffindors as they chase the Slytherin Quidditch team) "Now I   know why Hargid told me to watch out for Slytherins..."

    --GriffinFox
    

    Hermione: *thinking* "Are you okay?? Am i actually dating   you??"

    Ron: *growling* "Grr... bite me, I'm rabid!"

    --Kim & Ed
    

    Ron: "How is my new whitener working, Malfoy?"

    Hermione: "Not so   great, Ron. I told you to use Crest Whitestrips instead of that gel   gunk!"

    Malfoy: *thinking* "I've got to get out of here!"

    --Lauren
    

    Ron: "YOU'LL PAY FOR INSULTING MY WOMAN! EAT SLUGS!"

    (Malfoy falls   over and belches slugs while the Gryffindors taunt him)

    Hermione: (blushing   like a madwoman) "What---What did you say?"

    Ron: (beet-red face)   "Well---uh....uh....I said he'd pay for insulting my....friend."

    Fred: "Admit   it Ronnie! Admit your love!"

    George: "Admit that you say her name in your   sleep!"

    (twins start making kissy noises)

    Ron: (fuming) "SHUT   UP!"

    Hermione: (sighs) "Guess I gotta do it..." (grabs Ron and smooches   him)

    Harry: "You're not supposed to do that till Book 5!"

    Hermione: "SO! I   don't wanna wait!"

    --GriffinFox
    

    Hermione: "Ron! Did you hear what he just told me?"

    Ron: *thickly*   "No. What?"

    Hermione: "He said... Oh, I can't!"

    Ron: "What did you say you   filthy son of a -"

    Hermione: "Ron! He said they're making D/Hr fics!"

    Ron:   *looks between them in shock* "Bloody hell, but I though you loved me?" *gives   bewidered stare*

    Draco: "She does, you great prat! Besides I would never love   her! You'd really think I'd love HER?!"

    Ron: "I do! And I know a prefectly   great way to make them stop writing those things."

    Draco: "And what's that,   weasel? Tell everyone how hopelessly in love you are? No one will believe   you."

    Ron: "No I've got a better idea."

    Hermione: "Give it to 'em,   Ron."

    Ron: "I'll just kill you..." *pulls his wand on him them slowly puts it   back into his robes* "...Or better yet I'll let them do it."

    *R/Hr shippers   begin stampeding from the horizon as Ron and Hermione begin   snogging*

    --Lizzie
    

    Ron: "Is this whitener working, Malfoy?"

    Hermione: "I told you,   Crest, not Colgate!"

    Malfoy: "Ron, are you OK?"

    --Stan Shunpike
    

    April 25th, 2004
    

    
    

    Harry: (Voiced from across the compartment) " 'Oh Harry I love you,"   squealed Hertmione as she took a step closer to...' What's the matter Ron?   Allergic to the cat?"

    Ron: "No, allergic to this rubbish! Where did you find   this?"

    Harry: "On the internet, it's amazing all the stuff you can find   there!"

    Hermione: "Sounds like something straight out of Witch Weekly!   I hope your mum doesn't get a hold of this Ron, I wouldn't want her to think   again that Harry and I were together, it was enough trouble clearing it up last   time."

    Ron: "Yeah, I can't believe she made me kiss you in front of everyone   to prove that you weren't in love with Harry."

    Harry: "What? You've kissed?!   Where was I during this? I thought I got the first kiss in the group!? Why   didn't you tell me, I thought we were friends, how could you keep this from   me...."

    *Harry rambles in a dazed manner while Hermione and Ron escape to the   Prefects compartment for a snog session*

    --ILuvRonniekins
    

    RON: "But WHY does screenwriter Steve Kloves keep cutting out all the   best R/H stuff?"

    HERMIONE: "I just don't know."

    --Bill
    

    RON: "What do you mean we have to wait till we're 20 to enjoy a   happier, less argumentive relationship?"

    JK: "Because if you two became happy   now, it wouldn't be as funny."

    RON: "But that's not fair!"

    JK: "You only   have to wait seven years at this point."

    HERMIONE: "We can't wait that   long!"

    --Bill
    

    Ron: "Look, it sickens me that you keep doing this! I WANT MY LINE   BACK, YOU CREEP!"

    Hermione: "Foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach! I'll kill you!"

    Steve Kloves: (looks fearful) "You're - you're not real....   you can't hurt me..."

    Ron: "OH YES WE CAN!"

    Hermione: "Sic him,   Crookshanks!"

    --dutchtulips
    

    Ron: (thinking) "Ok, I've finally found something that I dislike   about Hermione - her stupid cat!"

    Hermione: (thinking) "Ok, I've finally   found something that I dislike about Ron - the idiot doesn't like my   cat!"

    Harry: (thinking) "Ok, at this moment, they're looking bewildered   trying to figure out how to get their future relationship around the fact that   they can't agree about that stupid cat!"

    Crookshanks: (thinking) "Ok, first   I've got to kill Wormtail, and then I'll get those stupid humans to admit that   they like each other!"

    --Daniel
    

    Hermione: "Jeez. That Fleur... She couldn't wait until Goblet of   Fire, could she? Stealing my Ronniekins!"

    Ron: *drools*   "Fleur...."

    Hermione: "Oh, this is ridiculous."

    *grabs Ron and snogs him,   while all the R/Hr shippers cheer, and try to kill H/Hrs, and Harry leaves to go   snog Ginny*

    --Susie
    

    Ron: "Harry... I... umm... we... have something to umm... tell   you..."

    Harry: "What is it??"

    Hermione: "Umm... Ron and I are going   out..."

    Ron: "Yeah... but that doesn't mean that we won't hang out with you   anymore... and..."

    Harry: "YES!!!" *dances* "THEY ARE GOING OUT!! THEY ARE   GOING OUT!!! At last!!! I MEAN HONESTLY!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR   THIS!!!"

    --Celine
    

    Doctor: "Hermione, for the last time, you cannot get pregnant by   snogging!"

    Ron: "Doctor, we just want to make sure we have a healthy, steady   relationship. And I don't want Hermione to be uncomfortable doing anything she   doesn't want to do."

    Hermione: *gives Ron a look* "Oh since when do you   care?"

    Ron: "No Hermione, really, I-"

    *Hermione clears throat*

    Ron:   "Aaaah screw it....she's right."

    --Nina
    

    Counselor: "There is only one step needed to make all these tantrums   and quarrellings that you've been doing recently ended."

    Ron: "Yeah? What is   it?"

    Counselor:"Miss Granger has to get rid of her cat."

    Hermione: "No   way! Crookshanks' okay!!"

    Ron: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

    (Hermione frowns   heavily)

    Counselor: "But I've thought better of you two." *smiles   cheekily*

    Ron and Hermione: *turn around* "Huh?"

    Counselor: "Mr. Weasley,   go on and kiss Miss Granger. RIGHT NOW. That will settle the   problems."

    --Annette
    

    HERMIONE: "We're not speaking to each other again. Care to help us   out?"

    HARRY: "What with?"

    RON: "All I said was that I didn't think Brad   Pitt was a good choice for the role of Achilles in Wolfgang Petersen's 'Troy'   and she went ballistic."

    HERMIONE: "Ron, I did NOT go ballistic! I was simply   disappointed that you couldn't see the brilliance of Brad Pitt's performance in   'Troy'!"

    RON: "What brilliance? Brad Pitt's a giant Ken Doll."

    HERMIONE:   "Excuse me?! Okay, did you NOT see him in 'Fight Club'?"

    RON: "Hermione, you   were sitting next to me when I watched 'Fight Club'. I thought it was okay,   nothing great. I mean, it was no 'Ten Commandments'."

    HERMIONE: "Brad Pitt is   a GOOD actor!"

    RON: "Oh yeah? Maybe you just have a fetish for boyish, blue   eyed blonde men, Draco being the exception of course. Did you ever think of   that?"

    HERMIONE: "I... I do not!"

    RON: "Hey it's nothing to be ashamed of,   everyone goes after the blonde, blue eyed types at least once. I promise I won't   tell Viktor Krum."

    HERMIONE: "Would you shut up about that?!"

    HARRY:   "Jeez, this is almost as bad as the time she thought you were dating a Slytherin   girl."

    RON: "Oh yeah. Those were good times."

    HERMIONE: "Shut up! One more   word and I'll sick Crookshanks on you, I swear to God!"

    --Bill
    

    Hermione: "Mm... can't look at Ron, can't look at Ron... ooh, Tom   Felton!"

    Ron: "Mm... can't look at Hermione, can't look at Hermione... ooh,   Tom Felton!"

    --AgarwaenLhach
    

    May 31st, 2004
    

    
    

    Hermione: "Oh Ron, I can't watch this..."

    Harry: "Don't worry   Hermione... We're here..."

    Ron: "Yeah Hermione... It will be   alright..."

    Hermione: *thinking* "Didn't you hear me Harry, I said Ron...   R.O.N ... and get your hand off me I'd rather hug Ron, even though his stinking   rat is inches from me."

    --Celine
    

    HARRY: "Oh that must have hurt."

    HERMIONE: "My cat! They ran over   my cat! Oh the humanity!" [cries on Ron]

    RON: "Hermione, I feel your pain.   When that pain recedes, we'll buy you another cat. But for right now, you must   mourn, and mourn openly you will."

    --Bill
    

    Ron: (thinking) "Shouldn't I be awkwardly patting Hermione on the   head? That's what always happens!"

    Harry: (thinking) "Hey, let me in on this!   I don't care if I look awkward or not!"

    Hermione: (thinking) "Harry, quit   leaning on me, you're intruding here!"

    --Gillian
    

    Hermione: "It's them again, isn't it? Oh I can't bear to   look!"

    Ron: "Don't worry Hermione, I'll protect you."

    Harry: "Damn H/Hers.   Haven't they read Goblet of Fire or Order of the Pheonix yet?"

    --AnakinsAngel
    

    Hermione: "Harry will you let me go? I don't need you to protect me.   Why do you think I have Ron? Ok, stop holding me."

    Ron: "HE'S HOLDING   YOU!!"

    Harry: "Umm..."

    Ron: "I'm giving you 5 seconeds to let go of   Hermione before I kill you. 1...2...3..."

    Harry: "AHHHHHHH!!"

    *Harry runs   away*

    Ron: "That's one way to get rid of him."

    --Diane
    

    Hermione: "Oh, Ron, I love you!" *hugs him*

    Harry: "Finally!"   *hugs them both*

    Ron: "Er, Harry? Do you think you could give us some   privacy?"

    Harry: "Oh, right. Sorry." *goes off to find Ginny*

    Hermione:   "Um, Ron?" *points at Scabbers*

    Ron: "Oh, yeah."

    *Ron throws Scabbers into   a bush and proceeds to snog Hermione*

    --Stephanie
    

    Hermione: *crying* "Oh...oh...poor Buckbeak..."

    Ron: "It's okay,   Hermione."

    Harry: "Yeah Hermione, it's okay."

    Ron: *glares at Harry*   "D'you mind? Kind of a private moment here!"

    Harry: "W-what? I was just   trying to comfort -"

    Hermione: "HARRY! DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM? IT'S A PRIVATE   MOMENT! GO AWAY!"

    --Shelly
    

    Hermione: "No!! It's the dreadful H/Hr shippers!!" *hugs Ron and   cries on his shoulder*

    Ron: "It'll be okay, Mione. I promise."

    Harry:   "It's okay Hermione. I'll go straighten this out." *walks away*

    Hermione:   *looks up* "Is he gone?"

    Ron: "Yeah. Went to go take care of those H/Hr   shippers. I mean... How could they honestly think you and Harry will wind up   together?"

    Hermione: "I don't know. But there's nobody in Hagrid's Hut."   *wink wink*

    Ron: "Let's go!"

    *Ron and Hermione run off to Hagrid's   Hut*

    --MiNi
    

    Harry: "I thought I just heard a groan from the audience..."

    Ron:   "Oh, really, Harry. Are you that dense?!"

    Harry: "What?"

    Ron: "You're   obviously killing a romantic moment between Hermione and I!"

    Harry: "Oh! Just   because I decide I hold her too, you snap at me! It's obvious I'm going to die   alone AND a virgin! Let me have my fun, too!"

    Hermione: "Shut up, Harry. I'm   trying to give Ron a hickey."

    Ron: "You heard her."

    --Sirose
    

    Hermione: "Oh, Ron! It's the H/H-ers! Harry, you're encouraging   them!"

    Ron: "POTTER!   Get...your...bloody...hands...off...my...girl!"

    --AgarwaenLhach
    

    Ron: "Oh no, those H/Hr shippers are coming back again! Maybe I can   scare them away with my rat!"

    Harry: "Even I'm getting tired of   them!"

    Hermione: "Maybe if I hold onto Ron and not Harry, they'll take the   hint!"

    --Weezy
    

    Hermione: "They killed Buckbeak!" ::sob::

    *Harry, who had been   paid 3 million by angry H/Hr's to ruin the moment, leans in to half hug   Hermione.* Ron: "Uh, Harry, mate, do you mind, this is kinda supposed to be my   moment, so er.... er..."

    Hermione: (releases Ron for a second) "So what he   means is BACK OFF BUDDY!" (punches Harry, who rolls down the hill)

    Hermione:   "So where were we, oh yes." (Hermione turns to Ron for comfort) "They killed   Buckbeak!" ::sob::

    *They stay lost in the moment for a second before Ron   screams out in pain because he has been bitten by Scabbers!*

    Hermione:   "Bloody rat!" (looks up to the sky with hands raised) "What do I have to do to   get my moment with Ron! Come on, we have to go chase that stupid rat I suppose,   can't mess with the script too much."

    Ron: "Hermione, we'll finish this   later, alright?" (winks)

    (Hermione smiles and they both run off towards the   whomping willow)

    --ILuvRonniekins
    

    Hermione: *cries* "Buckebeak, noooo!" *embraces Ron*

    Ron: "It's   ok, Hermione...just let it all out..." (thinks) "Oooooh!"

    Hermione:   "Thanks..." *gets even closer* (thinks) "Oooooh!"

    *Harry puts hand on her   shoulder*

    Hermione: "Go away Harry, we're grieving."

    Harry: "But, I want   to comfort you, and I'm the Boy Who Lived!"

    Hermione: "Are you still   here?!"

    --G
    

    Ron: "Hands OFF Harry!! She's mine!!!!"

    --Lauren Elizabeth
    

    *Hermione is snogging Ron's neck* Harry: "C'mon, Hermione, people are   staring."

    Ron: (Muttering to self) "Sure, Harry, go on and ruin all my   fun!"

    Harry: "What was that, Ron?"

    Ron: "Nothing!"

    --Siriuslyfun19212
    

    Hermione: "Oh Ron help me! Harry's touching me! I think I'm gonna be   sick!"

    Ron: (pushes Harry off and Harry rolls down hillside) "It's Ok,   Hermione. The truth is, I-I....I love you..."

    Hermione: "Oh, Ron, I love you   too!"

    (smooch!)

    Harry: "AAAAAAH!"

    Ron: "Serves you right, believing   those stupid H/Hr shippers. Hmph!"

    --Aimee
    

    Hermione: "Oh no, it's those awful H/Hr shippers again! Make them   stop! They're horrible!"

    Ron: "It's Ok Hermione, we know."

    Harry: "Just   makes you sick, doesn't it?" *mumbles something about calling the police and   crazy people*

    --Aimee
    

    HERMIONE: "Oh! How ghastly! I can't bear to look..."

    RON: "I think   I'm gonna hurl..."

    HARRY: "What's wrong??? Is it Death Eaters???   Voldemort???"

    RON: (whispers) "No...worse!"

    HARRY: "What can possibly   worse than - AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" (points dramatically) "It's the   evil ship Pumpkin Pie!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

    (Harry collapses in a heap on   the floor)

    (Hermione sobs hysterically with dread while Ron looks like he's   just been Petrified)

    --Catherine
    

    Harry: "Come on, guys! Professor Snape is coming, and you know his   policy about students necking in public!"

    Ron: "Look, just because he can't   get any..."

    --R/H 4ever!
    

    [Hermione's reaction to the screenplay for "Goblet of   Fire"]

    HERMIONE: "Oh Ron! They've shafted you again!"

    RON: "This kind of   sucks. Not you crying on me, but the unjust treatment of my character. I know I   didn't have much dignity or integrity to begin with, but this is just too   much."

    HARRY: "I feel for you Ron, I really do. Not in the same way Hermione   does, obviously."

    [Hermione continues to cry on Ron for his losses]

    RON:   "Obviously. On the bright side though, there's always hope that someone else   will come along in a couple of decades and remake all these movies with better   writers, better directors and better actors."

    HARRY: "Too true."

    HERMIONE:   "We can only hope so. And WHY exactly am I wearing this rainbow belt?"

    RON:   "Got me."

    --Bill
    

    *Hermione hugs Ron* Harry: "Oh, Hermione are you okay?" *touches   shoulder*

    Hermione: (whispering to Ron) "He's TOUCHING me.... Ron, he's   TOUCHING me..."

    --Nyssa
    

    Hermione: "Oh Ron! Make the horrible H/H shippers go away!!" (sobs   into Ron's shoulder)

    Ron: "Where did they all bloody come from?"

    Harry:   "I'll hold 'em off. You two better hurry and get out of here. Any sign of R/H   action might set them off!"

    --Ginny Weasley
    

    Harry:*thinking* "Finally, now Trelawney is wrong! Hermione and I   will not get together!"

    Hermione: *thinking* "Remind me again why I'm doing   this and why the good hug is on the cutting room floor of the DVD?! Oh   well..."

    Ron: *thinking* "I hope Scabbers doesn't bite me that'll make   Hermione stop hugging me. But hey, what are the chances of that?"

    --Joxx10
    

    Harry: (thinking) "Maybe if I pat her on the back a bit, she'll turn   around and hug me!"

    Hermione: "Harry, I know you're my friend and all, but   Ron and I need some, y'know, quality time...."

    Ron: "Yeah that's right, get   your hands off her!"

    Harry: "Oh, right..." (runs away chased by horde of   screaming R/H shippers and Hermione and Ron kiss)

    --Atari
    

    Harry: "Guys! Ugh, will you quit snogging for a second and   listen!"

    Hermione: (pulling away) "WHAT?!"

    Harry: "Ok, well, I've been   thinking about it and I think it's time I let the cat out of the bag. You see,   I'm a marked man and I have been from birth, Voldemort choose to mark me as his   equal (though he could've choosen Neville) and by doing so he transferred me   powers. My life must include or end in--"

    Hermione: Yeah, Yeah, that's all   fine and dandy, Harry, but Ron and I have some...er.... business to take care of   in the Prefect's bathroom so if you'll excuse us..."

    *Hermione drags Ron   away, his face looks as if Christmas came early*

    Harry: "Ok,   ew."

    --Hemesaci4
    

    September 27th, 2004
    

    
    

    Trelawney: "Now, today, we will be using the crystal balls to   discover who you will marry! Look closely, and you will see your   soulmate!"

    Ron: "Hermione..." *stares dreamily into the crystal   ball*

    Harry: *sarcastically* "Oh joy. Oh bliss. Ron's daydreaming about   Hermione now. He won't ever shut up now. Somebody pinch me, I'm   dreaming."

    --Susie
    

    Harry: "I see Ginny in a white dress and me in a black dress robe and   were standing at an alter."

    Ron: "What?!?"

    Harry: "I mean, I see you and   Hermione standing at the alter..." *whispers* "...with me and Ginny in the   background."

    Ron: "That's more like it."

    Hermione: "What's more like   it?"

    Ron: "You and me getting married."

    Hermione: "Oh, I already saw that   one."

    --Diane
    

    Ron: "There's going to be loads of fog tonight." (then thinks to   himself) "Hmm... kissing Hermione in the fog... that could be fun..."

    --Adri
    

    RON: "Hmm... the crystal ball says I'm going to follow Hermione to   Camelot next weekend."

    HARRY: "Great. That'll give me some alone time... with   your sister."

    RON: "Oh shut up. Besides, there's a problem."

    HARRY:   "What's that?"

    RON: "I don't want Hermione to get caught up with some loose   knight like Sir Lancelot, but at the same time, I don't really want to go to   Camelot. It is a silly place."

    HARRY: "Oh right."

    --Bill
    

    Ron: "Harry, my life is over. Hermione hates me, I just know it."   *sigh*

    Harry: "Shut up, Ron, just look at this! I can see you two in here and   it certainly doesn't look like you're hating each other!"

    --Gillian
    

    HARRY: "You know Ron, watching your future with Hermione gets a bit   boring after a while."

    RON: "About as boring as watching your future with   Ginny."

    --Bill
    

    Harry: "I say it looks like a soap bubble. What do you   think?"

    Ron: "Nah, I think she's a pearl."

    Harry: "Did you just call the   crystal ball a 'she'?"

    Ron: "Oh, you were talking about the crystal   ball?"

    --dutchtulips
    

    HARRY: "I think the crystal ball is implying that elves &   coconuts migrate."

    RON: "Hermione's gonna hate that."

    --Bill
    

    Ron: "Will me and Hermione get together? Will me and Hermione get   together?" *shakes the crystal ball inbetween every question*

    Harry:   *thinking* "I wonder if he knows how stupid he looks..."

    Harry: *out loud*   "This is a crystal ball, are you looking for a magic eight ball?"

    --Kim
    

    Harry: "Uh, Ron?"

    Ron: "Yeah Harry?"

    Harry: "I'm seeing   something..."

    Ron: *Thinks* "Oh, my God, Harry's going psycho like the old   bat..."

    Ron: "Well, go on then! What do you see?"

    Harry: "Erm..."

    Ron:   "Yes???"

    Harry: ".... It's you and Hermione, and you're snogging in a broom   closet -"

    Ron: "WHAT?! Oh, that! That won't happen in the future. That   happened just before class!"

    *Silence throughout whole classroom*

    Ron:   "Did I just say that outloud?!?"

    Harry: "It's about time!"

    --Melissa Raine
    

    Harry: "You'll be suffering but you'll be happy about it..."

    Ron:   "Must be talking about me and Hermione..."

    Harry: "What?"

    --Kim
    

    October 11th, 2004
    

    
    

    Hermione: *thinking* "Did he just do what I thought he did?!"

    Ron:   *thinking* "Uh-oh."

    Hermione: *breathlessly* "Ron?"

    Ron: "Yes   Hermione?"

    Hermione: "Did you just...kiss me?"

    Ron: "Um...yes. I - I guess   I did..."

    Hermione: "Ohh..." *Smiles slightly before leaning in to kiss him   back*

    Ron: *Grins* "Wow."

    *Both grin stupidly before holding hands and   walking down the street, stopping occasionally to kiss   again*

    --TheSweetestThing
    

    Hermione: "Great, we lost Harry and Ginny."

    Ron: "You act like   it's a bad thing."

    Hermione: "Well, isn't it?"

    Ron: *thinking* "And I   thought I was dense."

    Ron: "Hermione..." *Ron kisses Hermione while   Harry and Ginny watch from the store behind them*

    --Diane
    

    HERMIONE: "Ron, I fear one day that I'll play Queen Guenivere to your   Lancelot."

    RON: "Wouldn't that require you and Harry to get married   first?"

    HERMIONE: "Oh God I hope not... he's been too moody   lately."

    --Bill
    

    HERMIONE: "Ron, how could you tell Harry about us like   that?!"

    RON: "Because he threatened me with a hot fire poker."

    --Bill
    

    Hermione: *thinking* "WHAT?! I thought Harry was in the Three   Broomsticks! And Ginny shouldn't be here at all! She's too young! And they're...   okay, didn't want to see that!!"

    Ron: "Hermione? What's wrong?" *begins to   turn around*

    Hermione: *thinking* "I have to distract him." *out loud* "Hey   Ron?" *grabs him and kisses him senseless*

    --Susie
    

    Ron: "So let me get this straight. I pawned my broom to buy you that   special Portable Bookcase. But you sold your book collection to buy me the   Complete Broom Care/Repair Kit."

    Hermione: "Pretty much."

    Ron: "Somewhere   out there, James Thurber is laughing."

    --Tristan
    

    Ron: “Sleigh bells ring, are you listnin’...”

    Hermione: “In the   lane, snow is glistnin’...”

    Together: “A beautiful sight, we’re happy   tonight, Walkin in a Winter Wonderland...”

    Ron: (as he watches the Slytherins   tease) “C’mon, ‘Mione, let’s stop singing this song. It’s kind of   embarrassing.”

    Hermione: (hurt) “Oh, Fine!” (Thinks) "Typical boy, won’t even   sing my favorite Christmas carol with me. Why do I even bother going out with   him?" *Looks at Ron* "Well, he does look pretty cute with that snow all over his   nose…"

    --Emmy
    

    Hermione: "Kiss me, stupid!"

    Ron: "Yeah, Dean Martin and Kim Novac   were great in that movie."

    Hermione: "No, you dunderhead! Kiss   me!"

    --dutchtulips
    

    Hermione: "Um, Ron? Why are you looking at me like that? Um,   Ron?"

    Ron: "Oh! Hermione! I was just looking over at the newest Honeydukes   candy!"

    Hermione: .......

    --Somer
    

    Hermione: *breathing in deeply* "He smells even better today than   yesterday."

    Ron: "Hermione...are you...are you smelling me?"

    Hermione:   "What? NO! No, I, er, I was just...no! Ron, really! Why would I smell you?"   *nervously* "I'm not in love with you or anything!"

    Ron: "Oh, okay   then."

    Hermione: "Yeah, okay."

    Ron: "Hang on! What did it mean when you   were smelling me yesterday, then?"

    Hermione: "Um..."

    --Shelly
    

    RON: "So is Viktor a better kisser than me?"

    HERMIONE: "Ron, this   is not the time or the place for that!"

    --Bill
    

    Hermione: "I'm just like you!"

    Ron: "I'm just like   you!"

    Hermione: "You're just like me!"

    Ron: "You're just like   me!"

    Both: "WE WERE MEANT TO BE!!!"

    --Nicole
    

    November 4th, 2004
    

    
    

    Hermione: "Oh no! Harry, are you all   right?"

    Ron:"Hermione?"

    Hermione: "Yes?"

    Ron: "Harry's knocked out on   the ground."

    Hermione: "So?"

    *Ron raises eyebrows*

    Hermione:   "Ohhhhh...."

    *they tiptoe away*

    --Atari
    

    Neville: "What the......"

    Semus: "I see Harry in a whole new   light."

    Ron: "Way to go Harry!"

    George: "Is that Harry and Lavender going   at it?"

    Fred: "I think so, sheeze who taught him that?"

    Ron: "Hey   Hermione, at least there wasn't so much of a crowd when were were   -"

    Hermione: *slaps him upside the head* "Shut up!"

    *Everyone slowly turns   towards them*

    Neville: *in attempt to change the subject* "Hey Seamus...why   are our heads half purple?"

    -- Kim
    

    This is what happens when Ron steals the   Time-Turner.......

    Ron: "Hermione, do you know what your hair looks like   from the back?"

    Hermione: "Shut up, Ron! I'm trying to see if Ron's   OK!!!"

    --Somerdaye
    

    Ron: "Hermione? Is that you and Neville dancing?"

    Hermione: "Who   took a picture?!"

    Ron: "I dunno, but you look hot!"

    Hermione: *smiles*   "Oh, okay!"

    --KanenLitaRule
    

    Hermione: "Ron...you didn't."

    Ron: *grinning* "I did."

    Seamus:   "Here it goes."

    Fred: "I told you to hide it from her, little bro."

    Ron:   "How exactly do you expect me to hide it?"

    Hermione: *fuming* "You made   copies of those pictures?!"

    Ron: *looking scared now* "Um, yes."

    Neville:   "He's gunna get it."

    Hermione: "I DO NOT WANT THE ENTIRE OF GRYFFINDOR TOWER   TO KNOW OF OUR SNOGGING SESSIONS, RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!"

    George: "We tried   to tell you, mate."

    *Hermione storms off huffing madly* George: "Looks like   you won't be snogging tonight, though."

    Ron: *sadly* "Yeah, I guess not..."   *cracks another smile* "Who wants to watch the pitcure again?!"

    *All   laugh*

    --Lizzie
    

    Fred: "Ha! Did Harry just say H/Hr is going to happen?''

    Hermione:   *gasps* "I think...I think he did!''

    Ron: "Whoo, Harry's bloody delusional   from that fall!"

    --Heather
    

    *Everyone is admiring the new baby*

    Seamus: "He's got Hermione's   pout."

    Fred: "He's got Ron's eyes."

    Neville: "He's got Hermione's   nose."

    George: "Ugh, but he's got Ron's smell!"

    Hermione: "Not again!   Someone hand me another nappy, please!"

    Ron: "That's my boy!"

    --Beverly